We went to the annual pre-4th of July carnival in our town last weekend. At the end of the night they had about a twenty minute firework display. As beautiful as it was,
I couldn't help but think how nice the idea of crawling into bed was, especially knowing in the back of my head that it was already 9:30 pm and I had to be up by 5am for work! Bed sounded a bit more beautiful than the fireworks at that very moment! But I tried my very best for that NOT to show in my actions or my words. I wanted the kids to enjoy the fireworks and the carnival and not worry about mommy.
Daddy held Ben while the fireworks were popped and I had Megan on my hip. With every fiery rocket that exploded, Megan had a fiery comment to follow it, as well as many "oohs" and "ahhs". Listening to her, my thoughts slowly drifted from my cozy down comforter back to the park where we stood gazing at the colorful night sky. I smiled for a moment and remembered what it was like to be a kid. At what age does a child begin memory retention, I wondered. I looked over at Ben who was clearly amazed by the rockets red glare but I knew that tomorrow he might not have any such recollection of this unless something happened to remind him of it. But Megan, she'll most likely wake up in the morning talking about these captivating fireworks.
This seemed like the longest firework show of my life! Just when I thought it was over, it wasn't. My mind went back to my bed and then to my alarm clock. I was calculating the time it would take us to get home and fall asleep; trying to figure out what time I should set the clock for when all of a sudden she blurted out something that once again brought me back to the park. Back to the present. Back to the fireworks. Back to the family and especially back to the little girl on my hip who was so eagerly trying to get me to see what she was seeing. She asked in the cutest, highest pitched voice you ever did hear, "Momma? Is this a dream come true?" (Too many disney fairytale movies, haha.)
I looked at her in amazement and smiled. I caught Bree giggling at her too. Suddenly, my life flashed before my eyes. It's unexplainable, really. I imagine its something similar to what happens seconds before someone knows that they are about to live their last moments. I saw myself at her age in my daddy's arms watching fireworks. I saw myself, twelve years old, rollerblading down the culdesac of the house I grew up. I saw myself playing with my pet bunny and then meeting my husband. I saw myself give birth to six babies, buying my home, driving a mini-van, and it suddenly occurred to me... I'm living my dream. This is my dream come true. This is what I've wanted since I was a little girl. I wanted to be a wife and a mommy of MANY little ones. I'm in awe of this little girl I carry on my hip, the depth of her knowledge amazes me. What a revealing moment!!! She reminded me of something I have quickly forgotten being too occupied with the demands and busyness of living life. A life with soooo many responsibilities that I'm sometimes blinded of what's really important- simple moments like this. What's really important is to appreciate the present; I am living my dream. Even when life gets tough or ugly, or seems too much to bare- I need to remember that I'm living my dream. I need to stop and enjoy the simple things like watching fireworks light up the sky in the company of those who are most important to me.
Unfortunately, most people who see their life flash before their eyes aren't given this second chance. It happens too late for them. I need to STOP worrying about the future and what is to come of it and instead enjoy the present (here and now) and the present (this gift).
I think it's sooo important to find life's lessons in little moments like this because the truth is, we all forget until something unimagineable happens. Then, we remember how important and how precious life is; how precious simple moments are.
Just when I thought I was done learning, my child teaches me something new.
Megan, thanks for reminding me. To answer your question, "YES, this is a dream come true!"
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY PAPA BEAR!!! 11 YEARS OF MARRIAGE UNDER OUR BELTS. I AM ENJOYING EVERY SECOND OF MY LIFE WITH YOU AND THE LIFE WE HAVE CREATED TOGETHER.