Monday, February 6, 2012

One Smart Kitten

Don't forget to click on the post under this for more pics of the nursery.

I'm so embarrassed to even blog about this but it had to be documented!!!! I am sometimes blonde. I sometimes do corny things. I behave like an airhead, sometimes.

At the same time, Katalina can't seem to get a decent cat nap around these quarters so long as Ben is nearby.

With that in mind, here's my story....

I, for some reason today, was so motivated to clean both of our unfathomably dirty vehicles. So I got to work. I finished our little car and then started on Big Bertha, (she's our van). Yes, our van has a name (as of now) and apparently, it's a SHE.

Anyhow, as I was saying, I was cleaning out Bertha and I ran back into the house for who knows what (I can't remember; that's what raising six kids does to your brain). When I returned to Bertha, I grabbed her door handle and quickly realized I had locked myself out. Woops, no worry though, cuz I had my keys inside my sweater pocket. I reached for them. They weren't there. I didn't panic though because surely one of the other three doors were unlocked.

Wishful thinking!

NONE of the other three doors were unlocked. So I panicked. I glared through one of her semi-clean windows and there sat my keys in the cupholder. Right next to my cell phone. GREAT!!!! Just my luck!

So I locked the keys and the cell phone in the car. But that's not all....right next to both the keys and the cell, sitting ever so calmly in the driver's seat of the quiet car was the CAT! That devilish cat.

I panicked even more. Poor kitty was stuck in the car! I have NO spare keys to this van which means kitty will be in there ALL night long til daddy got home. I feared I might have even more of a mess to clean up if kitty couldn't hold her bladder or her bowels til I could get her out!

As I sat there panicking and staring at poor little kitty who was just then starting to drift off to sleep, I suddenly realized how silly I felt for feeling sorry for her. My sorrow quickly turned into jealousy as  the kids walked out to find me one by one. One kid needed homework help, another kid wanted to tattle on her sister, and another little one needed their butt wiped!

Silly me!!! What was I thinking?! That's God forsaken cat is much better off than I was at the moment!!! Kitty was NOT worried one bit about the current predicament!!! That's when it hit me!!!! It wasn't I who accidentally locked Bertha's door, it was that damn'd cat!!! She did it!!! I swear she did it, not me. It must have been her!

I could see her now... poor, tired little kitty looking for a nice quiet hiding place far away from DangerBoy. Somewhere where she can get two cotton pickn' minutes of sleep without 'THE KID' walloping her or wacking her with the nearest plastic toy. Surely, she must have done itShe planned this!!!!

I gotta hand it to her. She's one smart kitten; I swear she must've been taking notes when she saw me doing this same thing last week! I thought I was the only one who knew that five minutes of serenity can be found deep within Bertha's insides. Apparently, my secret hiding place is secret no more. I've been discovered!!!!

I started to despise that damn cat as I watched her body twitching in her sleep! You know it's some damn good sleep when you're body starts jerking!!!!! My panic was replaced with anger!!! I wanted to be Katalina right now. "That damn cat is MINE when I get her out of there," I thought to myself.  I started looking around the garage for one of daddy's tools to break out a window. Then I realized how stupid that would be. I'd have to explain to daddy what I had done. I pounded on the window to wake her from her peaceful rest. She glared back at me... and I swear that damn cat smiled as she closed her eyes and laid her head back down. I pounded harder and harder. She mocked me as she took a deep breath and sighed. Her tongue stuck out ever so slightly as she drifted off to sleep again, but not before taking one more good look at the steam coming out of my ears.

It was then that I remembered. Way back in October I had FINALLY become a member of the envied club I had always wanted to be a part of but was too damn cheap to enroll in. Thank GOD for AAA! I called my buddies up over there at the 3 A's and explained my incident. After the laughter on the other end of the line stopped, some punk assured me someone was on their way to help. About an hour later, my hero arrived to save the day. As he was working his magic on Big Bertha, I sat back watching and daydreaming of exactly what I'd do as soon as I got my hands on that damn gray cat. I had lovely visual images of squeezing her neck so damn hard her tongue would never be the same. It would permanently stick out forever.

NO! That's not good enough. She needs a punishment as serious as her crime. Nobody steals one of my most treasured hiding spots and mocks me through the window with their body twitches. Nobody!!!!

Instead, I'm gonna sit on her. Yeah, that's right. I'll sit on her so hard she won't know what hit her.

NO!!!! Still not good enough. I'd prefer something that will teach her a lesson.

Rather, I'll stick her nemesis, DangerBoy on her. He'll take care of that feline.

Mr. Hero, had the door opened up in no time at all. I couldn't keep my hands off of him; I kissed him only a million times (just kidding, haha. Gotta throw a lil romance in there. I'm a sucker for romantic stories, lol).

I grabbed that hairy gray beast as quick as I could. She turned her fuzzy little head and looked me right in the eye with those 'feel sorry for me'  big, mysterious, green eyes of hers. And then I kissed her, because after all who could resist her plan, her clever thinking, and her brilliant M.O.

Plus, she is kinda cute.

1 comment:

  1. You make me laugh so hard Christine!!!! I locked Daisy in the car once and had the same thoughts running through my head!!! I kissed her and hugged her and forgot all about the nonsense that went thru my blonde head also!!!!! Can't wait to share this with my friends ! Give the kids and Kat a great big hug & kiss from me!!!!! Love, Aunt Lynn