I digress.
If only I can devote at least 30 minutes at the end of each day to sit down and write about whats on my mind! Imagine that! The kids would have some really good material to read when they're old and I'm long gone, haha. But because I am a horrible time manager, that won't happen. So I am trying to make it a point to do it at least once a week. You know what else I'm horrible at.... finishing a book. I've started about six books this year and I haven't finished not one!
I digress, again.
Brianna is taking a shower, the other 4 are laying (or lying... I can never remember which to use. I'm sure my English teacher is rolling her eyes. How's that for a $40,000 college education!) in my bed watching something they tivo'd (is that a word yet? Probably not. In my blog it is. And it means recorded. Now that we got that down...) and Ben is sitting here next to me playing with my cell phone; hopefully not calling 9-1-1 or China. So I took a quick second to make myself a cup of tea (since I don't drink coffee. Can't stand the taste of it. Did you know that about me?) and open up one of the six books I started in the beginning of this year. (Note to self: New Year's Resolution will be to finish a book before starting another, haha.) As I was saying... I opened up the book to a random page, just any page to see if it's anywhere near where I had left off since I forgot to dog-ear my page. I was floored when I read the subtitle of the page... Worry Does Not Change Our Situation. HA! I couldn't help but laugh out loud.
Worry is my middle name. In fact, just today Elizabeth had a dr. appt where a slight case of scoliosis was discovered (thanks to mom pointing it out to the dr.). She now needs a referral to an ortho dr. I worry what this means for her. Will she have to wear a back brace? What if she needs surgery? And her teeth. She needs braces on her teeth. What will the other bratty classmates say/do if she's walking around with braces on her back and her teeth? And while I'm on the worrying subject. Brianna is in 7th grade!!! Do you know what grade I was in when I met Miguel? Guess!!! No really, guess?! YES!!! 7th Grade. S-e-v-e-n-t-h grade, folks!!! She has already shared with me stories of some of her friends getting 'cheated' on by their boyfriends and how she had to break the news to one of her best friends herself. I try to play it all 'cool' when she's talking to me about it all cuz I'm a 'cool' mom like that but really in my head I'm SCREAMING!!!! When the hell did this kid grow up?! Why is she having to deal with grown up stuff like this? She was just a baby yesterday. She's also in Advanced Algebra Honors and I'm worrying that maybe I shoulda just put her in the regular class with the regular kids cuz she's having some difficulties in it. Emily.... I worry about this child and I've talked (or typed, haha) to you all about this before. Emily has some emotional issues along with a very hard time concentrating on anything for a specified time period. Today, while at the Dr. with Elizabeth, I was reading the patient brochures and came across one titled, ADD and Your Child or something close to that. I worried as I read every symptom that matched her. Emily is also my sweet, naive girl and still wants so badly to believe in Santa. I worry that other stupid kids who think it's cool to NOT believe will ruin it for her cuz by-gone-it your're only a kid once! Matthew has a lisp and a hard time pronouncing his r's and s's (it's as cute as hell but I'm sure it won't be when he's 30). He will be referred to a speech therapist next month for evaluation. I worry about what that will do to his self esteem. I worry about Megan and her underbite (also cute as hell), but will she need some kind of horriblly invasive surgery down the road? Most likely. Ben.... geez just the thought of this kid near any piece of furniture higher than 4 ft tall and that worries me!!! I also worry that he likes my high heels wayyyyy too much! I worry about my school loans, moving to the 'right' house (we are outgrowing our current one and would really like a bigger one), and saving for a rainy day.
I'm sorry, am I boring you yet? LOL. I apologize for the lack of pics. I'm on a roll typing here though. And I'm really thinking I should read more, don't you? Cuz it sure does help break the writer's block. Anyhow, back to the book I'm reading... It talked about a woman who was diagnosed with lung cancer and how she chose to go about her healing "differently" than everybody else. She avoided the internet because naturally it had coined her "dead" or close to it. She warned her family and friends to not share any negative information about her illness with her. She wanted to only concentrate on the positive. She set her heart and mind on trusting Jesus with her health, the lenghth of her days, and every other aspect or outcome concerning her. I LOVE IT!!! She chose to not only believe that she knew that there was a heavenly father, but rather act like it by worrying less. The ill woman claimed that each time fear or worry crept into her mind, she would remind herself of some of her favorite verses or sayings. My favorite one she shared was this:
PRAYER IS A POSITIVE AND WORRY IS A NEGATIVE. WHEN WE MIX A POSITIVE WITH A NEGATIVE, WE END UP AT ZERO.
I'm choosing to follow in her footsteps. Starting tonight. I want to worry less and pray more. The part that really 'got' me was the strategy called... Stop, Drop, and Roll. Just like we were taught as children to do in the event of a fire... Stop, drop and roll.
1. Every time I begin to worry, I will stop. Physically turn my head up, remembering to look toward heaven for help.
2. Next, drop to my knees, even if it's just a knee drop in the attitude of my mind. Quietly ask God to help me. Pray about each thing on my Worry List.
3. Roll all my cares to God. I can't live up my worries if I'm always obsessing over them and talking about them.
If only someone woulda told me that having children involves worrying so much it can make you ill... I probably wouldn't have had so many. Okay, you're right. I would. Haha. What can I say, I love having a big family, even if it causes me to worry beyond belief. Obviously though, my worrying is getting me nowhere. I need to Stop, Drop, and Roll.
On a lighter note: Miguel and I started repainting the inside of our house last week. We're still working on it this week as well. It just really needed it after seven years of six kids running through it. It's looking great. Unfortunately, I learned to NEVER paint in my favorite 'old' pair of levi's. I was heartbroken when they split while climbing up and down the ladder. On the other hand, Daddy and the kids thought it was hilarious. Even the neighbor kid!
I can hear you laughing at my expense!!! Go ahead. Laugh Away.
I will NOT WORRY about what you think. In fact, I hope you enjoy! Ha!
Momma's Santa Wish List:
- New Pair of Levi's
- And maybe a new cell phone plan with more minutes for Ben to call China so mommy can blog uninterrupted.
I love reading your blogs. It makes me feel like I'm not the only worry wart....
ReplyDeleteGreat reading Christine!!! I like tea better than coffee also and no I did not know that about you!!! My Mom told me a long time ago when you become a Mom you worry all the time and boy oh boy this is true!!!! I agree about the reading also I have lots of books that I started and did not finish placing on my to do list!!!! Too funny about your levi's!!! I am sure Santa will get you a new pair! Stop,drop, and roll is a motto I am going to make part of my daily life too!!! Hug & kiss the kids for me.
ReplyDeleteLove, Auntie Lynn
I love the Stop, Drop and Roll idea. Thanks for sharing it so others can put it into practice.
ReplyDeleteThanks Christine. I love this blog. You really have a way with words. You made me laugh and feel strong emotions about the way we feel about our kids. Thanks again!
ReplyDeleteYour dad!
If you DIDN'T worry I would worry about you. I know you are a great mom and you handle many different problems, disasters (kid type) and fun stuff all in a days work, as well as holding down a full time job. You not only take care of your family but you come to work to do what? OH help others.
ReplyDeleteI love the stop, drop and roll. I can really use that bit of advice.
You are strong and loving and I know you can handle whatever God throws your way. Rj