When Life Gives You Lemons

When life gives you lemons, do not throw them in your neighbor's face!

We just got a treadmill. I used to have one then I sold it. I quickly regretted it and just bought another one. Now if I can only locate some motivation to get my butt on it. I know it's there somewhere. I just gotta find it.

Megan had a dr. appt yesterday. The day before her appt. Matthew kept teasing her about getting shots and of course she freaked out until she was distracted with whatever was going on in the room at the time. The next day we arrived at the dr. Just her and I. It was a scheduled annual check-up and I really didn't expect any shots to be given. That is until the nurse reminded us that we were behind 4 immunizations!!!  Oh yeah, I seemed to have forgotten that I was one of those wacko delayed immunization believers. At least I am when I forget to schedule shots, haha. Anyhow, this upset me because I had just got done telling her she didn't need shots. I don't want my child to lose her trust in me thinking I lied to her. We made the best of it and I promised her an ice cream cone afterwards which she gladly ate up. Her personality has blossomed lately. Some of the stuff that comes out of her mouth leaves me in disbelief. You'd swear she was a ten year old, not three.

Anyhow. during our visit the nurse asked if she was allergic to any medications. Out of habit, I instinctly said "no". But then I immediately remembered she was, I corrected myself. The funny part was, it initiated a conversation about her medical ID bracelet. This is how it went:



Me: I mean, YES!!!! She is allergic to medicine. Amoxicillin. (Then I look at Megan and say...) Duh!!!! That's why we have your bracelet. What a silly mommy! Seeeee.... your bracelet has 2 big words... NO AMOXICILLIN.

Megan: No mommy. Look! It saaaaays... NO SHOTS.

Me: Haaaaaahaaaaa (that's me laughing). Is that what it says??!!

Megan: YES. (very firmly)

Our nurse giggled all the way through the rest of her exam!!! She said it was her first time meeting a kid allergic to shots!!!


Today, Megan, Bri, and Ben all went swimming.

Megan got mad at me for some reason I can't seem to recall right now. She told me she didn't like me and that I couldn't be her mommy anymore. Then she wanted me to do something for her and said she forgave me. She reminds me so much of Brianna at three years old. She used to say the same stuff.

Daddy's working on another Halloween zombie. This one is animatronic and kicks his feet while being hung to death. Lovely. (Video to be posted at a later date) (if I remember) (haha).

I'm working on sewing up a custom diaper bag for a friend at work. She's having a boy! She'll name him James. That's one of my fave boy names. She likes skulls and crossbones so she picked this as the inside of the bag.

 And this quilted material as the outside fabric.

Here's the guts of the bag. Haha. I like that word. Reminds me of daddy and halloween.

It's coming out really cute and I hope she likes it.

Delilah. Two words. BUYER'S REMORSE. What was I thinking!!!! We can't find our turtle. I think he somehow escaped. Would I be a really bad human if I traded her in for another turtle? I'm seriously thinking about it. How mean, huh?!

Brianna graduates from 6th grade next week. Scary. I'm gonna be a mother of a junior high student. God help me! Matthew will be graduating from kindergarten.

Of course, to make my life difficult both Emily and Elizabeth's teachers have invited me to attend their field trip. Problem is... both trips land on the same day! Yes, that is my luck!!! And of course it landed on one of my work days. More of my luck!!!! Luckily, my boss gave me the day off. Now the problem is deciding which trip to go on. I told the girls that they needed to decide amongst the two of them because I couldn't pick one over the other. I explained that I love them the same and it wasn't fair for me to have to do that. Their conversation erupted into bickering so then I did what I said I wasn't gonna do and I picked a kid to go with. Then I promised the other kid a date with mom all to themselves.
Was that wrong!?

I'm not sure what goes through my beautiful Emily's head sometimes. Yesterday the girls were having a lemonade stand in front of the house. The boy down the street who's been madly in love with her for years walks down to the stand. He pretends he wants to play with Matthew. I know better than this. He would do anything just to get a good look at her. I swear there are hearts coming out of his eyes when he gazes in her direction. It's absolutely adorable. Emily doesn't think so. She makes it clear that he annoys the crap outta her by taking a cup of lemonade and impulsively throwing it in his face for absolutely no apparent reason. I apologized to him for her doing such. Then, I confronted her about it and "just because" was her excuse. I'm tired of her doing very similar tirades to everyone in the family. She doesn't seem to know how to control her feelings sometimes. Poor Matthew usually takes the brunt of her episodic meanness (I can't think of a better name for her actions). Call me a mean mother, but I sent her to her room until morning. Five minutes later I wasn't satisfied with that punishment. I marched up to her room with my water bottle and squirt her in the face. There. A taste of your own medicine, child. "How do you like that?!"  I expected my extremely emotional child to burst into tears. Instead, she stared at me like I was crazy. Then she changed her outfit.

Sigh.

Then there's Elizabeth (Totally off the subject, but she's getting another award on Monday! Yeah!). The happy go lucky, easy-going, all around friendly girl next door. She's got her classmates doing Rock Paper Scissors over her. They constantly fight for her friendship. If only some of her niceness (is that a word?) would please rub off on Emily!!!! Instead, Emily comes home crying after school some days because her friends decide they no longer want to be friends. At least for that day. I'm sure it's their form of punishment for whatever she may have done. This is a sensitive subject in our house. She's extremely moody, extremely emotional, easily distracted, and yet moments later can be the sweetest child you ever did meet. Ironically, she's excelling academically. I don't get it. I do know that I love her so much my heart hurts. When I see her in pain (emotional pain, especially) I secretly cry for her when she's not watching. A mother’s love knows no bounds. It suffers all things for the sake of her children. When the child is in pain, so is a mother’s heart. I've always said that in Emily's world every little thing is a very BIG thing. Something most of us would shrug our shoulders to, she responds with great emotion. I've never blogged about this before. And I'm not sure why I'm doing it now. Maybe seeking advice. Maybe venting. Maybe out of frustation and desperation. Maybe for documentation purposes. Maybe all of the above. 

I'm afraid of failing her. I'm afraid my parenting will be inadequate. Will my love for her be enough? I have to remind myself that some children are just naturally needier than others. This is true for her. I sometimes forget that. I sometimes lose my patience. I need to remember to remind her often that I love her. I trust that you're not judging me for blogging this. It is only my intent to express my feelings and love for her by sharing what's weighing on my heart and mind. One day she'll read this and either be very upset with me or (and I can only hope) she'll somehow understand its me reaching out in an effort to be the best mother I could be to her. I know that God never promised us an easy life. I'm fully aware that life throws us trials and lemons. I pray that God will give me the patience and skills to make lemonade with those lemons. And I thank HIM, despite everything, that HE directed little 'ol me to be the mother of this child.

That which makes us different, makes us special. Emily, I love you. I love you. I love you.